The Parenting Game

Progress reports came out last week, and my son had 9 tardies in the second quarter. 9!! I know I dropped him off late a few times (and I'm totally taking most of the blame since getting out of bed in the mornings has proven more difficult than usual these past few months). But something must be happening between the car door slamming shut and the classroom, because we have not pulled up late 9 times!

I suppose I should be embarrassed, or ashamed, or determined to mend my slothish ways, but I'm really not. My kid got there, didn't he? He's dressed (usually) appropriately, he's fed and watered and pottied, he's packin' complete homework assignments and lunch money. In my book, that's a success. Mornings have been going relatively well for us this school year, and I'm happy with that. Sure, I still get frustrated by my chronic slowpoke, but getting frustrated doesn't make things any better. Screaming at him only makes things worse, and more delayed. Perhaps it's resignation, or perhaps it's the realization that you can't win 'em all. Whatever it is, it's working for us. I will try not to get so many tardies this semester because I do think it's important to be punctual, but I'm not going to stress out about it. I have bigger fish to fry.

I put a lot of thought, effort, and collaboration into how I've chosen to parent. I read books. I've attended parenting classes. I've joined online forums, and I subscribe to several e-newsletters that I read faithfully. It amazes me how they always seem to address something I'm currently dealing with. Most of my friends have kids, and I often hit them up for advice on how to handle a tough situation. I even (gasp!) ask my parents what they think sometimes. I'm not afraid to try different approaches if what I'm doing isn't producing the results I want. I try hard, and I feel like I'm a pretty good mom.

I've raised my son mostly on my own for the past 8 years. I know he's missed having a dad around, and that we could've benefited from that in many ways. But all things considered, he's a well-adjusted kid. He's consistently well-behaved. He's very thoughtful of others. He's respectful most of the time to me, and always to other people. He does well in school, and I always receive positive remarks from his teachers. He's got lots of friends. He's smart and funny and really perceptive. And he's happy, which to me is most important. I look at my son, and I'm so proud of who he is. I feel like I'm parenting him well in spite of the various (and sometimes many) obstacles we've faced over the years. He's not perfect, but what kid is? Perfection should not be the goal, in my opinion. It's not about that. It's about raising a child who is equipped with the knowledge, confidence, and support to leave the nest.

I don't claim to be a perfect parent, nor do I claim to be solely responsible for how Tanner is turning out. It really does take a village, and so many people have contributed in various ways to our lives. I attribute most of my parenting victories to the wisdom of other people. But I do know that I'm a good mom, and at times I'm even a great mom. I think I will only get better as Tanner grows up, and I will never stop learning about how to be the best parent I can be. Every age poses new issues to consider, and new tactics to try out. It's a process, this parenting game. It's a process I enjoy so much, because I can look at my child and see the fruits of my labor.

Soon, there's going to be a major game-changer in my life. I'll have a dad, a baby girl and a stepson! I don't have a clue what it will be like with two more kids and another set of opinions, but it's bound to be interesting! I do know that raising my new daughter and son will be just as rewarding as raising Tanner has been. I was made for this. I'm ready. Bring it on!